tour 8

headed over to piano's for the evening's gig, parking gods smiled upon us, we found perfect spot right out front. stepped inside for the evening's festivities... face painters had set up by the door to paint people like zombies... appropriate, i thought, since i wrote that song called zombies, so asked the face painter guy in the nicest possible way if he could make me look like the scariest zombie in the whole place... he painted me up for 15 minutes or so, me sipping a bourbon and imagining how frightful i would be. but he just made me look like i'd been beaten up. for the rest of the night, people would approach me, there'd be an awkward few seconds of silence, and they'd ask, "did something happen?" when i told them how i'd been painted to look like a zombie, they would respond, "oh good, i thought somebody might've beaten you up." so i was looking great and feeling great.

dude playing before us was strummy strummy in the worst kind of way, one of those plug-in acoustics with the EQ built into the top of the board... they are usually ovation brand... i guess i really dislike the sound of strummy strummy acoustic guitars with terrible pickups. i think i would literally rather listen to someone burping into my ear.

so it was mister strummy, singing songs about "sunny southern california," (i think that was an actual song title), and of course he had a fretless bass player. i think those things sound like shit moving through intestines.

so the band was an ovation with built-in EQ acoustic strummy guy and a fretless bass player and they both turned into mister funny-face when they really started to "jam." the bass player did a few unaccompanied solos, and it kind of sounded like the theme from "seinfeld." the bass player also switched over to saxophone, and he played in an unforgivable way. i had to leave the room.

drank some more whiskey, watched some stand-up comedy in the next room... the stand-up guy i saw told me i looked like andy warhol. must be the glasses.